According to Psychcentral; as parents, we always try to do the best we can for our kids. We want them to be healthy, happy, successful. We also want to be at our best so we can set a good example. But sometimes our good intentions go sideways. Sometimes our goal of being a great parent turns into trying to be a perfect parent. And our goal of raising great kids turns into trying to raise perfect kids.
Do you know what happens when you try to be a perfect parent and/or try to raise perfect kids? The result is a feeling of failure and shame. Which, ironically, is exactly what you were trying to avoid with your striving for perfection.
Perfectionism is driven by feelings of fear, shame an unworthiness. Moms seem particularly susceptible to feeling judged and criticized as mothers. You feel guilty if you don’t breastfeed or use daycare. Perfectionist moms think that if they can do things just right and be the epitome of a perfect mother, they’ll be happy, respected, and validated. So, you make homemade, organic baby food, limit screen time, and go to church every Sunday. You’re driven. You get your toddler into the best preschool in town. You drill your kiddo to practice piano for an hour every night. You drive her to swim meets clear across the state. You expect perfection from yourself and nothing less from your kids. You’re going to the best mom and you’re kids are going to succeed even if it kills you!
Father’s aren’t exempt from perfectionism either. I think as Dads have become more active participants in child rearing, they’ve also fallen prey to competition and comparison among parents. And, of course, they too can set unrealistically high expectations for their kids.
Here are the Cognitive Institute of Dallas, our mission and vision is encouraging you in everyday life. Taking experiences and weighing in on them to guide you toward better parenting. Listen to WHFF.Radio and our Executive Director, Dr. Rachael Robertson for more information, resource gathering and connecting with other parents.